Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The Question of "SAX"????

Like an Alford Hitchcock swarm of birds, the term "birds and the bees" frightens and freaks us parents out just about as much as an old horror film. A taboo subject that makes us want to put are hands over our ears, and sing silly kid songs so we can't hear the questions. Talking about sex with our children is just not a simple matter. So many questions surround the subject, and not just the questions the kids are asking. When do you bring up the subject? Do you wait until they ask or maybe when they hit some magical age of understanding? Do we attempt to pass it off to school education or even to the other parent? How much information do they get, and is subject an on going discussion or does it stop at THE TALK? Do your beliefs come in to play or are you strictly sticking to the facts of science? Does your child's personality come into play? Is it okay to lie a little when the question comes up before you are ready to give the answers? Do you use a parenting book, go by your own knowledge, or pass along the same information your parents gave you? So so many questions about such a small little word. Who would imagine that the word sex and the subject of the matter could cause such chaos, and down right fear in parents. Besides the subject bringing so many questions it also has an equal amount of opinions depending on the parenting style, knowledge, and faith of the parents. So that being said before your child ask you about the subject of "SAX". Which is what my friends 8 year old son called it when he popped the question on her, after hearing it on the morning news program. You might want to start asking yourself and arming yourself with some answers. Having a 7 year old son myself I started thinking about how I will answer his questions, and when I should bring up the topic for serious discussion. Truth be know I am not totally sure I have a plan. Hey just because I can write down the questions doesn't mean I get to escape the fear of the questions. I don't actually have any real answers to the questions I am just now starting to form my opinion on the subject. What I do know so far is this...I want my boys to be totally comfortable in asking me questions about any subject for that matter. So I will be open, honest, and truthful in my answers. I had much rather them learn the truth from me than fiction from someone else, or the television for that matter. I do not want the subject to make either of us blush, although I am sure that is going to be a lost cause. I do think that in my household their Father will be handling the topic with our three boys for the most part. Although I do want them to know mom is cable of handling the subject with confidence. I will not shy away from their questions, and I will not put them totally off on their Father (which I totally once thought I would). I want them to understand it's a serious subject, and I want them to be armored with information sooner rather than to late. I also believe for my family our values, Christian beliefs, and morals will play a valuable role. Ultimately I also must understand that while I can answer questions, teach values, and guide them to the best of my ability with love and truth it will be their own values and own beliefs that will guide them to make decisions regarding the subject of sex. All I can do is arm them with the proper information. So all in all when it comes down to this scary and often secretive topic I want my boys to know on an age appropriate levels what sex is. Now to figure out the right words, time, appropriate facts, and age to start this process well lets just say I am still working on sorting all that out inside my own head.... Why I do I get the fun feeling I better get it sorted!


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