No Good Rotten Day with a side of Thankfulness

You know how sometimes you just have a no good rotten day. Well that’s me today. Nothing is seemingly going right. I have been let down by people I trusted, and untimely I lost focus and got extremely frustrated to the point of tears today. It happens sometimes days just don’t end up the way we wished.  However sitting here during my little pity party and praying  some serious prayers. You know the everyday kind of prayers Jesus help me!!! At least that’s me every day.   I am absolutely weak and I need your strength and your Spirit to guide me.  After I finished talking to Jesus here what I came away with today.  “Be Joyful always. Pray continually. Give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not put out the spirits fire” 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18. Ooooo!!! maybe I really lost focus today.  

After that I decided to write down 10 things that I was thankful for today. This is a daily practice for me although I usually just do 5. I decided to double that, and I decided to share them with all my readers today.

10 Things I am Thankful For Today:

-          A husband that first loves God so that he can better love me and his family!

-          The encouraging words of my Life Group pastors!

-          The 6 blooming Sunflowers in my garden

-          That I walk in my house and love that it’s home

-          Music

-          The sweet Cashier today at the store who had nothing, but nice things to say about my children

-          Answered Prayers

-          The Rose Bush that was gifted to me

-          That no bills came in the mail today

-          Three beautiful sons’s who amaze me every day!

Thank you Jesus for all these things and your love for me in the big things and small, on the bad days and good, and even when I lose focus. Thank you for not just new days, but for new hours and minutes!

What are you most thankful for today. I would love to hear what brings thankfulness and Joy into the lives of my readers. Please share your stories, thankfulness, and joy with me today!

Remembered

I read this prayer tonight that was composed by a sweet friend of mine.  A young woman with such a beautiful heart that holds such a powerful amount of love. Her prayer echoed so much of what I believe so many of us are saying and feeling as we walked through this day of remembering the tragedy that happen on September 11, 2001.  Thank you Billie Sue for allowing me to publish such a beautiful and heart felt prayer, and thank you even more for being such a bright light for Christ in such a dark world.

Photograph By: Sarah Worley

A PRAYER ON 9-11
by: Billie Sue Wilson
Tonight, I say a prayer
I kneel, knees to ground.
I close my eyes and take a breath,
My thoughts now making sound.
Father, I know I'm weak
I know I've let you down.
But this prayer is not for me tonight
It's for those all around.
You see, I am only one
In a land so distraught.
Where people do not offer love
Unless their love is bought.
I am no example,
I've let the world in.
But if You'll show your mercy
I'll start over again.
I know Your plan, God
For Your word has told.
I know You win at world's end
Your hand is ours to hold.
But, God, until that day
I see the pain surround
I don't know what we'd do right now
If heroes didn't abound.
Bless them, God--the brave
Who freely give their all
To protect what You have given us
Those who stand, and fall.
Protect us, God, from evil.
Hold us in Your hand.
Guide us through our troubled times
Beside us, won't You stand.
I trust you, God, always.
Through suffering and pain.
I know You have a plan for us.
For no loss is in vain.
I offer thanks, Dear God
For forgiveness of our sins.
All this I pray in Jesus' name
I love you, God. Amen.

Happy Valentines Day!!!

LOVE IS...

Laughter

Photo Credit Kelli Trontel

Hope

Kisses

Photo Credit Kelli Trontel

Music

Brotherhood

Photo Credit Kelli Trontel

Me+You

Families

Photo Credit Lindsey Walker

Friendship

Motherhood

Smiles

Imagination

Photo Credit Kelli Trontel

Love is Infinity

Photo Credit Kelli Trontel

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY ONE AND ALL...May your hearts overflow with love for years to come!

My sweet Valentines XOXOXO

Love Leaves Memories

To me, he was the fun loving drummer boy with the giant laugh and the colossal heart. Joe Huddleston was so much to so many; son, brother, cousin, and loyal friend to numerous and we all had to say good-bye a lot sooner than any of us would have liked. Twelve years have now past us bye since that sober day in October and yet the joy, the love, and the lasting friendships that Joe shared with so many lives on. We all have so many memories that have stayed with us over the years. Joe Huddleston is remembered today on his birthday, November 28th by his family and friends, as they share memories, stories, poems, lyrics and photographs. Today, we celebrate Joe! You are loved, you are missed, and you are remembered!

I loved Joe from the moment I met him. He never failed to make us all laugh sometimes until we cried. He had this way of making his friends feel special. It was a gift. One of my favorite memories of Joe took place one summer when the band, The Everlasting, was playing for a group of campers at 4-H camp. It was a humid night, and Joe was drumming away, working up a sweat doing all that drumming. The band finished playing their first set and decided to take a little intermission. After signing a few autographs for a few of the kids, Joe nonchalantly went and jumped in the pool(Cloths and all)! We all laughed and laughed when we saw him walk back in, dripping wet, he sat back down at the drums and began to play again like nothing had happened. Although he was grinning from ear to ear, I guess he just needed a bit of a cool down. I miss your laugh Joe, I miss all the fun we all had together. –Jaime Garrett, friend

I first came to know of Joe when he was drumming in the band at our high school. Joe made drumming cool. He held nothing back when he played. Sticks would shred, sweat would fly and sometimes drumheads and cymbals would crack. He played hard, he played fast, and it was cool! He lived life in a similar fashion. He lived freely, loved freely and gave freely...holding nothing back. Sure that meant driving all over the county tracking him down for band practice and always crossing your fingers that he'd actually remember that we had a gig, but there was something refreshing about his approach to life. And you could never be upset with Joe.... it was Joe! Yeah, I remember his great ability to dynamically make songs better and single handedly make a show more entertaining, but more importantly, I remember his approach to loving and giving to those around him... Something I'm still learning from him! - Stephen Garrett, bandmate

When I think about Joe, so many funny and good memories flood my mind. One particularly stands out and warms my heart. It happened one morning when he was at work at WLIV. I had worked all night at the hospital and had gone to the radio station to visit. I shared with him some stresses and anxieties I was going through (including some financial difficulties). He listened like such a good brother and in typical Joe Lee style began making jokes. In no time at all I was feeling better. When I started to leave, Joe walked me to my car, gave me a big bear hug and suddenly looking at me shocked said "I just remembered, Mom gave me this to give to you." He reached in his pocket and gave me $50. Now I know you are all thinking "She had to have known he was giving her his money." But honestly, I truly didn't know it was from him until I mentioned something to Mother about it. (She had no idea what I was talking about) He told me it was from Mom because he knew I wouldn't have taken money from him when I knew he was as poor as a church mouse too! I'm not sure how I found out, I don't remember but, I did find out later that he had given me all of the money he had to his name that day. That is the kind of loving, giving brother that he is. He is the kind of guy that will give you his last penny just so you won't be without. He looks for no recognition or reward. What a wonderful example he is for me and everyone that had the privilege of knowing his sweet spirit here on earth.

I happen to highly value a good sense of humor. Fortunately, Joe and I have a very similar sense of humor and find the same things funny. This has been the source of endless entertainment. I am very grateful to have shared that with him. –Holly, sister



I have so many memories of my brother that choosing one or two is hard, but one memory that stands out is the very last time I saw Joe. It was in early Sept 1998, so about a month before he died. I lived in Knoxville and came home to visit one weekend. Mom and I had attended a clogging event and stopped by Moogie’s Restaurant, where he worked, to see Joe on our way back home. I was getting married in a couple of weeks and remember him joking around about that. He was laughing with co-workers and acting like usual, having fun doing whatever he was doing. I told him that I’d see him in a couple of weeks at my reception. As we walked into the parking lot, we heard a knocking at the window and looked up to see Joe pressing his bare belly against the window and laughing as hard as he could. He was having fun and made me laugh—very much like the rest of his life. He didn’t come to my reception a few weeks later, so that night at Moogie’s was the last time I saw my brother alive.

If I could talk to my brother, I’d say “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for the birthday dinner the day you died—it’s one of my greatest regrets, not seeing you one last time. I wish I could have known you as an adult. I wish I could have seen your musical talent progress and see you share it with more of the world. I wish you could have interacted with your nieces—they would have loved fun Uncle Joe. I miss you, I love you and I know that I’ll see you again someday.” -Vickie , sister

this pain i hold
deep down inside
it always seems
to make me cry
tears of joy
pain n grief
they never seem
to take relief
my parents n friends
don't seem to know
my brothers loss
will always grow
one day i hope
to see him again
laughing n playing
with his new friends.
Patrick , brother

There are so many good memories I have trouble choosing one to send you. One that always makes me laugh though: We would go swimming at our friend's pool and it never failed Joe would find the smallest float tube and demonstrate how it barely fit around one thigh, then toss it out in the water and dive right through it. It was his own magic trick that never ceased to amaze us all. -Eric, brother



The movie Tommy Boy will forever make me think of my brother, Joe. He would recite parts from the movie and would put on a small jacket and sing "Fat guy in a little coat" :o) He had a way of winning almost anyone over regardless of what "group" they were in and he loved making people laugh. –Leslie, sister



A Song For Joe

Your One HugV1

Your nineteen and I am two

Here's my memory of you:

I remember how it was that day

Granny and I, sweeping away

The blaring sirens pierce the air

As we're running, I feel scared

This hill seems far too big for me

Fighthing against reality

I promise you, I really tried

Though you may think I only cried

But my heart was broken when you died.

*chorus*

Your one hug meant the world to me

Gave me peace of mind.

Somehow you heard my plea

Though i once felt left behind

Your love surrounds me now

and though I don't know how

Your one hug made all the difference in my life


V2

Since you left I felt afraid

Hurt, abanndoned, and betrayed

Confused and desprate to know why

Why we had to say goodbye.

I need you to be here with me.

I need you oh, so desperately.


*chorus*


bridge

I feel electricity

is this how it's s'posed to be?

Then you're there, and I'm free of care

I feel you comfort me

Chorus x2
-Rachel, sister

When Angels Sing

This is my personal story of my prayer life as a Mother and the power that is in believing in God’s promises. This is the story of the day I heard Angels sing. My son Wesley has had multiple health issues for the majority of his life. One of those health problems has been a handicap in his right foot. Long story short, the muscles in his foot and leg did not function properly. Some muscles were over working causing other muscles to basically not develop. All these factors lead to discomfort and pain when Wesley was on his feet for any length of time. This included grocery shopping, zoo trips, playing outside, riding bike, pretty much anything that required him to be on his feet. We had already had one unsuccessful surgery at Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital when Wes was a little under the age of three. I was broken hearted that my son was still in pain, and he was broken hearted that he still couldn't wear cowboy boots. The unsuccessful surgery was at no fault of the hospital or the doctors. We knew going into the surgery that it was all going to be highly educated guess work. There was no case on record quite like Wesley’s, so figuring out a solution was not as easy as referencing medical text books or phoning doctors with similar cases. One thing that made his case so different is the inability for doctors to pin point why the muscles didn’t work. All that being said, after the first surgery I remember thinking this is not the end....This is not what God has planned for my little boy. So, I continued the daily and multiple prayers for my son's healing (1 Thessalonians 5: 17, 18). I refused to believe he was going to walk around the rest of his life in pain.

Wes taking a little rest at one of the early morning doctor visits

After almost 2 years of praying, we felt God leading us in the direction to find a new Doctor for Wesley, and I knew that there was one Doctor out there that God would gift with the wisdom to make my son pain free. This is about the point where I began saying, "I will just know the right Doctor that God has for us comes along". I said it would be as if hear the Angels sing to me from Heaven. So I would patiently wait for that moment of peace during all these trials (James 1: 2-8). We started the journey with a trip back to our home town of Livingston TN to visit a Doctor that has been looking after our families for several generations now. He gave us a couple of referrals. One of those referrals was to the Children’s Shriner’s Hospital in KY. My hopes were high. So we filled out tons of paper work, gathered all Wesley’s medical records, and said many thank you's to our Shriner's Sponsors. Now we just had to wait to see if Wesley would get accepted to be seen at the hospital. I literally jumped for joy when we got the phone call for the appointment. So off to Kentucky we went. I had been faithfully praying, and I knew that there were so many others praying faithfully with us. I just knew this was going to be it. I just knew that on this day the angels would sing. We meet with the Shriner’s doctors and staff. The whole staff was so very kind to us the whole day we were there, but they felt like the answer to Wesley’s problem was to leave it alone. At best, maybe he would grow out of it, and the muscle would begin to develop. My heart sank. I admit I was frustrated, heartbroken, and just emotionally drained by this point. I remember crying a little as we walked back to the car for the journey back to Nashville.

A couple months later we were off to our second referral. We went to a small town called Ringgold, GA to meet with a doctor who is based out of Atlanta GA. Ringgold is about 30 minutes outside Chattanooga. So we decided to stay all night the night before the 9am appointment. We swam in the indoor pool, Wes jumped on the big bed, and we ordered pancakes for breakfast. Wesley thought the whole hotel adventure was just grand. I think it’s the first time he remembered staying in a hotel. At 9 am the next morning Doctor Camasta walked into our lives and folks I heard the Angels sing (an amazing sense of total peace came over me). Dr. Camasta examined Wesley and looked up at us with total confidence and said I think we can fix this, and smiled this unforgettable sincere smile at me that I will never forget. I felt a sigh of relief escape my body as if I had been piled with a thousand pounds of extra weight that was now gone. I felt God at work and my prayers beginning to be answered. It was an overwhelming and humbling experience. I felt like I was glowing with love. I wanted to just tackle Dr. Camasta with a giant bear hug, and tell him how long I had prayed for him. Instead I decided to remain calm and shook his hand and said thank you so very much. Stephen and I both left the office smiling. I had always known that God loved me and would take care of me. I believed that with all my heart, and today I felt that love. It was a deep love. It was a never ending love. God had answered my prayers and it was beautiful. On November 4th, 2009 Dr. Camasta performed the 3 hour surgery to remove one muscle, and clip three others in Wesley’s foot. He also extended his Achilles heel.

Few hours after surgery

Recovery process this was about 5 days after surgery and is the first day really out of bed or off the sofa

The recovery was a painful process. It was hard to explain to my four year old that this was God’s plan. You will see you are going to be so much better soon. We had many sleepless nights, and Wesley was in a cast, moving around very little. If you know Wesley you know that moving around very little is just not him. He is very spirited and always on the go. About 3 weeks after surgery Wesley began to walk on his knees around the house. This was a pitiful sight to see, but it did not seem to bother him.

Don’t get me wrong, I am totally not perfect. I would often lose my focus on God, and try to go through days without Him, and let me just say those where some miserable days for me. I needed God to give me the strength to get me and my family through this, and I knew he would. God loves me. He loves Wesley, and He answered my prayer. My son Wesley while he still walks with a limp, and this journey is far from over he has now been pain free for year this November!!!!!!

Wesley riding a Bike this is a big deal for us!!!

Seeing God in My Rearview Mirror(Guest Writer)

This is a story about how one couple's life was filled with hope and love through the process of adoption and the power of God's plan for their lives. I am so grateful to my guest writer Lisa Coil for sharing this beautiful, heartwarming story with my readers. Thank you Lisa =).


Seeing God in My Rearview Mirror
by: Lisa Coil
For anyone who has ever traveled the stretch of interstate known as I-40 West connecting Nashville to Memphis, Tennessee, one can truly understand just how long and boring those 200 miles can be. Perhaps it's because there is virtually nothing from Nashville to Jackson, few towns and fewer exits. It was July 2005 and my two children and I were traveling from our home just outside Memphis to visit my parents just east of Nashville for a little summer vacation. The weather was beautiful, the sky clear and sunny, so began our journey just as we had done many times before. However, on this particular trip, from the driver's seat of my Saturn Vue, I caught a glimpse of God in my rearview mirror that I had never seen before. Let me tell you what I saw.

This story really began in 1997 when my husband was preaching in a gospel meeting near Manchester, TN. He left our home in East Tennessee to go begin the meeting when near the Monteagle Mountain his car broke down. He was stranded. He finally got the car to a station only to find out that is would take a few days to repair it. He called one of the members of the church where he was scheduled to preach that next morning to come get him. When the elderly gentleman arrived (a longtime friend of ours) his daughter and new grandson, Will, were with him. Evidently, Will captured the attention of my husband in a most unusual way. When my husband called me later that night most of the conversation was about the young Russian boy, Will, which he had met earlier that day. My husband had excitement in his voice that I had never really heard before. As the week continued with gospel meeting, I continued to hear about Will almost every night. Will had been adopted from Russia a few months earlier, and he now had a wonderful Christian home.

At that time my husband and I had been married for about ten years. We had gone thru endless fertility treatments and drugs. We had exhausted every resource we could find to help us conceive a child. We knew God was in control of our lives, and we trusted in his promise and plan for us. (" And we know that all things work together for the good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28) I had longed for children it seemed my whole life. I had never really desired a sophisticated career or to be a professional. I had always wanted to be a wife and mother, nothing more. I had a "hole in my heart that nothing seemed to fill." My husband was very happy with our life, just the two of us, but he was keenly aware of my heartache. He tried everything to fill my void, but nothing worked. We had spoken about adoption, but until he met Will, we had never gotten beyond the words. We kept holding out hope that I would conceive. We continued to serve God in every way we could, always believing that He had a plan for us, and that someday He would "fill the hole in my heart."

After the gospel meeting ended my husband returned home, his meeting Will lead us to a decision that would change our lives forever. We contacted Will's parents and obtained as much information as we could about their adoption process. We had many conversations with them and made the decision that God was leading us in this direction. So, the exhausting, yet fulfilling adoption process for us began!

In mid-October 2000, on Friday evening, our adoption facilitator called us from her office in Murfreesboro, TN to see if we could meet her for dinner. She wanted to introduce us (via photographs and video) to our son. He was the most beautiful, black eyed, brown haired baby boy we had ever seen. He was about 7 months old and we could bring him home, hopefully, by the end of the year. The next morning, my husband and I went on our usual 3-mile walk, and I as skipping and leaping thru most of it! The "hole in my heart" was beginning to close! My husband couldn't stop smiling, showing off the pictures and video to anyone one and everyone he could. Through exasperating paperwork and red-tape, through long and extensive trips to Russia, through snow, ice, and 14 hour long train rides, and more experiences than I can recount, we arrived at Nashville International Airport on December 23, 2000, with the greatest Christmas gift that anyone could imagine. Our son had made it home! He was ours, he was safe, and loved beyond measure.

Ivan and Lisa=Love At First Sight

Homecoming



In 2003, our son welcomed a baby sister! We traveled again to the other side of the world, Siberia, to embrace the baby girl that God had entrusted to us. She was 5 months old, she was tiny, she was an angel.....she was perfect. She was blonde headed and blue eyed, and now "the hole in my heart was filled and began to overflow."

Ms. Emma Claire



So you ask. "What did you see in your rearview mirror on that long boring drive on a July day in 2005?" I saw two sleeping angels, nestled snug in their car sears, heads turned to either side, and I knew beyond any doubt that God is love (....God is love 1 John 4:8). I saw His love and goodness. I say He longs to satisfy the desires of His children. I saw how he hears and answers our prayers (...The effectual fervent prayer of righteous man availeth much James 5:16) I saw how He careth for us like no other, how He hurts when we hurt and rejoices when we rejoice. I saw how He has a plan for us in His time, and His way. I saw how He blesses us beyond what we can ever begin to comprehend or imagine. I saw His unspeakable gifts (Thanks be to God for his unspeakable gift 2 Corinthians 9:15). I had received two of them!

That drive for me isn't so long and boring anymore, I just take a few quick glances in my rearview mirror to remind me of all my Heavenly Father taught me that day. "Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto him be the glory in the Church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world with end. Amen" Ephesians 3:20

THE COIL FAMILY



Special Note: This story also appears in the Cookevilletimes.com

The Road to Making a Difference

Biking Family Evan,April,and Owen

The National Multiple Sclerosis Society 2010 "Jack and Back" annual bike ride presented by Jack Daniels is being held October 2nd and 3rd this year. The starting line will formed at Paige High school in Franklin TN. The ride is a 150 mile, two day bike ride. Riders will be allowed to camp-out overnight at Motlow College in Lynchburg, TN before making the journey back to Paige High school on October 3rd.

This year, veteran rider to this event, Evan Baird and his newcomer wife, April Baird, are up for the " Bike to Jack and Back" challenge. Evan has been making this run for the past six years now. April decided to join her husband on the actual bike ride this year. She has been doing volunteer work along the bike route for many years now. She has enjoyed mingling with other volunteer's and riders that stopped at her refreshing stations. Many of the volunteers themselves are in various stages of battling MS and many of the riders ride in honor of someone they love. April has enjoyed her work as a volunteer and listening to stories about how people deal with this terrible disease is inspirational and unforgettable. One particular story about a rider she met along the way pulls at her heartstrings every time she thinks about his story. Two years ago, when April volunteered, there was this rider and he was the VERY last rider. She was working the 2nd to last rest stop and it was super hot that October. They got word he was about to be at their stop and they got water and snacks ready for him. He looked rough. His bike was old, he didn't have a jersey (just a cotton shirt with the sleeves cut off), and didn't even have cycling shoes. She asked him why he just didn't take the SAG (support and gear) wagon in...it wasn't a big deal. He told her that his wife has MS and he was riding for her. He would see how rigid her walking had gotten, how her hearing varied at times, how her speech had gotten worse and she couldn't drive anymore. He called her at every rest stop. He called her while April was standing there and she about lost it. He told his wife he was almost there. He hoped she was feeling okay, that he loved her, and would see her at the finish line. Such a moving story about the love this rider had for his wife and he wasn't about to give up on doing this for her.

Along with the beautiful and amazing people April and Evan meet doing this very touching event, they also ride this race to make a difference. They have a passion to help the cause this bike ride supports. MS or Multiple Sclerosis is an inflammatory disease that effects the ability of the nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord to communicate with each other. At this point, there is no cure for this crippling disease. While MS is such a terrible disease, there is little public promotion to help raise awareness. There are socks, pens. shirts, notepads for many other terrible diseases, but MS, for the most part, just gets left off the list. This bike ride is an important way to raise awareness and funds for a disease that affects so many lives. The National Multiple Sclerosis Society not only raises money to fund future research in search of cures, but a percentage of the funds raised actually go to patients and families suffering from MS.

The combination of the challenge of the ride, the love of the people and the importance of raising awareness and funds for MS make this 150 mile, two day "Bike to Jack and Back" a 'can't miss' event for Evan and April Baird. This year the couple hope to complete each days ride in 5 hours. They also hope to raise their share of funds to donate to such a special cause. This charity bike ride raises an enormous amount of funds for MS and people come from all over the country to participate. Last year there were over 800 riders and each year that number increases. Find out how you can be part of the battle against MS and support the patients and families that have fallen victim to this disease. There are so many ways to help volunteer, sponsor a rider, and if your an adventurous biker, sign up to participate in the ride. No matter how you choose to help, be confident that you are making a difference.

Special note if you would like to sponsor Evan or April Baird click on their names anywhere in this article for a direct link on how you can become a sponsor and help make a difference. If you would like to volunteer or join the bike ride(must be 18 years of age to register) click HERE!


Special Note: This story also appears at Cookevilletimes.com

My Journey Through Grief

On March 17, 2010 my family lost someone we all held very dear to our hearts. Today on July 29, 2010 we would have been celebrating My Great Uncle Leo's ninetieth birthday. Losing him is something that shook my world even more than I would have expected. He was such an important force in my life, and I loved and valued him, and I think about him every single day.

Saying goodbye to someone you love is never an easy task. It fills our hearts with a deep sadness, and the loss changes our world forever. It even changes us. Grief is complicated and has a wide range of responses. Grief is mostly focused around the loss of someone with which you share a special bond. Particularly the emotional response. In my case, grief has been focused on the loss of my Great Uncle that stepped in and took interest in my life. Grief can also influence our physical. behavioral, social experiences, and even our spiritual life. Each individual's grief experience is as unique to them as finger prints. Everyone responds to loss in different ways. I want to share my story with you. It's a very personal journey, but I feel it's something that I need share.

This is my story and how I am dealing with missing someone I loved dearly. This is my grief journey and how my spiritual beliefs have allowed me to cope and move forward. This path is one that I am still on, and working though. I just took for granted that my Uncle Leo would always be apart of my world and that my children would grow up with his presence in much the same way that my brother and I had. I know now when I think about that it was a unrealistic hope, and I am thankful for the time my children did have with him. Now it is my responsibility to retell his stories and share new stories to keep his memory in our lives. I have discovered that on the grief path there is no magic formula, no short cut, no easy way out of the process. You must allow yourself time to grieve. Being sad does not make you a failure, nor does it make people or Christ love you any less. Being sad is simply an emotion in life that we feel and walk through. His loss created an emotional wound for me. The wound has been healing, and I believe the experience of grief is transforming in a positive way, but being transformed and changed is rarely a painless process. This particular loss has given me a new vision on my relationship with God and how I should treasure my relationships with the people that I love. Being unafraid to say I love you! God and my faith in Him has been a major healing guide in my personal grief process. My faith has also helped me in facing the reality of my loss and the hope in that this is not the end!!! My belief in Heaven and God is guiding me through the grief process thoughtfully and deliberately. God loves me and he will not forsake me. I have learned to express and release emotions and move forward. Understanding that suppressing grief and not allowing myself to walk through this mourning season with plenty of healing time, could lead to emotional torment and even depression. So allowing and expressing my emotions to God through prayer and allowing my family and friends to walk along side me in the healing process is vital and important to myself living a productive and joy filled life. The death of my Uncle caught me off guard, as did the feelings and emotions that came along with the loss. For instance, I did not fully understand the role he had played in my life and just how much I would think about him every day. Losing him back in March still makes my heartache. Being aware that it is normal to have waves of emotion pertaining to loss, even more so on days where missing the presence of my Uncle is stronger, like on important holidays, birthdays, and even the anniversary of his passing. I am accepting that many aspects of my life have changed. I still think I am finding my way through this first year of grief. Not only has it changed me, it's made me realize just how much God loves me and this amazing and beautiful gift he has given me called HOPE!!! It is extravagant love, time, and hope that heals all wounds!

I just wanted to say in closing that this was a very personal blog about grief and bereavement. Something very close to my heart that I just wanted to share with my readers. Thank you to all my family, friends, and church family for loving me even through all the tears, heartache, and change that has taken place in my life. You have all brought some joy into this season of mourning. Thank you!

Quotes and Scripture that helped me

Grief still has to be worked through.
It is like walking through water.
Sometimes there are little waves lapping about my feet.
Sometimes there is an enormous breaker that knocks me down.
Sometimes there is a sudden and fierce squall.
But I know that many waters cannot quench love,
neither can the floods drown it.
We are not good about admitting grief, we Americans.
It is embarrassing.
We turn away, afraid that it might happen to us.
But it is part of life, and it has to be gone through.

– Madeleine L’Engle


There’s music in a well-lived life,
and melodies remain
each time a loving memory
repeats the sweet refrain.
The song that lingers
in our hearts
becomes our legacy ~
its beauty gently echoing
through all eternity.
-Unknown

Blessed are those that mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4

Brothers we don't want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep: or to grieve
like the rest of men who have no hope 1 Thessalonians 4:13

Such hope never disappoints or deludes or shames us, for God's love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us. Romans 5:5

For I am persuaded beyond doubt that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8: 38-39

Hope No Matter What Season

In the mist of a great deal of sadness that has fallen upon me within the last couple of weeks. I was searching for some encouragement some beam of hope to shine through the darkness. As I have come to conclusion that there is no quick fix to a grieving heart. And that sometimes when your screaming on the inside for good news life just gives you more bad. Which in all honesty will test your ability to hope, but today a darling friend of mine sent me an email that reminded me that hope does not disappoint, and that trails build strong character. It was a simple, sweet, and encouraging email. A little shimmer of hope, a precious gift! I am so very grateful for friends like her who have showered me with nothing but love, and support. I count myself a lucky girl with friends and family like I have. So I leave you all my blogging audience with a verse from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, and the encouragement that hope does not disappoint so don't let go of Faith, Love, and Hope. Those three things still breathe life no matter what season it is in you life.

To everything there is a season,
a time for every purpose under the sun.
A time to be born and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
a time to kill and a time to heal ...
a time to weep and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn and a time to dance ...
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to lose and a time to seek;
a time to rend and a time to sew;
a time to keep silent and a time to speak;
a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

A Return....I Hope =)

I know it has been several weeks since I have blogged. Life just doesn't seem to slow down enough anymore. My middle son has had surgery on his ankle/foot, and recovery has been more emotional than I thought it was going to be. Although he has improved and is slowly returning to his normal self as the weeks go by. He is really doing very well. Also with holidays, birthdays, family events, snow days, and the upcoming Superbowl...time just hasn't been on the side of blogging lately. Along with winter sickness which has hit our household hard this winter. I think we just pass in a circle between the 5 of us. All that being said I plan to make a return to my dear old blog. I hear all those crazy things trying to escape from inside my head, and I just can't restrain them there any longer! So here is to life being most fabulous, and keeping us on our toes! To you out there, I hope you are all well, happy, loved, and well on the road to life's adventures...Until we meet again in blog world...Goodnight Folks!

Show Hope, Live Hope, Have Joy

Sometimes our worlds seem to come crashing and a darkness falls over out hearts. A gloomy grey color lurks around our souls, and sadness or worry overwhelms our thoughts. Sometimes it is brought about from our own struggles, sometimes by circumstances we can't control, or even sometimes it comes by sharing the hurt of another person. There is just no denying that the human heart breaks, and storms will brew in our lives. It's in those dark moments we must hold on to hope, believe in love, and live off faith. Understand we don't have all the answers, and trust that we are strong enough to hold on to joy. We must be confident even when we feel our hearts breaking, and the confusion of our emotions spinning in our heads. Believe in the people that love us. Trust in them to shower us with support, hold us when we cry, walk beside us, and celebrate with us in hope. We are not alone. God knows our hears, and loves us despite our weakness, emotions, and short falls. So believe....show hope, live hope, have joy, and know that you can not be that easily overcome by the darkness of one little storm!

Beyond the Disabilities

I have ask two very special families to share their struggles, hopes, joy, blessings, needs, and dreams with us. For the Brooks family their lives where turned upside down when sweet baby Max was born with a rare syndrome called hypoventilation a severe form of sleep apnea. Then there is the Broady family, a family of five learning together how to view the blessings of child with autism, and leave the struggles and meltdowns in the dust. Both families have be kind enough to talk with me and share their very personal stories with me. They have shared heart breaking moments of struggles, and the hopes they clinch to daily. As these families face obstacles they are uniting in prayer, and finding their way past dilemmas to build strong families full of inspiration. Teaching us that love builds walls for us to climb over our problems. Not be stuck behind lingering hopelessly in the darkness. I must say thank you to these two brave families who have helped us look beyond the disabilities and it to the precious faces of these children.

Join us this week right here on Inside My Head for insights, and advice from two truly remarkable, strong warriors of Christ, as they share their heartwarming stories with us.

"A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strenghs; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities."
— William Arthur Ward



A few helpful links are listed below:

Autism Speaks

What is Hypoventilation

Autism Society of America

Children's Disabilities Information and National Support

Hope is Real, Love is Needed

I just got done reading some blogs, I am not going to address the subject lines, but I really believe that there is not enough love in the world, not enough compassion, to much judgemental hearts, and not enough helping hands! Sad really! Love is so important it holds us together or rips us apart, and Hope is real! We have lost focus of so many of the truly important things! We are all about MINE MINE MINE!!! Completely Heart breaking to me! Have we all really become so jaded towards one another that we have forgotten how to love.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7